Country mouse becomes a city mouse

I know someone who used to be a country mouse and now has become a city mouse. The country mouse wanders blithely over hill and dale, taking occasional naps in the shade and nibbling on one thing or another. Occasionally there is an unexpected encounter with a country hawk, whereupon someone goes missing, but this does not happen too often, if you can believe what you read. In the winter they pretty much starve and freeze as most do not have the wit to follow the sun south, like geese. This is part of what defines a lower life-form. Not flying is another thing, although some mice have been known to fly, but not on their own, and we seldom hear back from them later.City mice are always on guard. They call this excitement, and it is supposedly one of the fun things about being in a city. I don’t know about this. I am not so sure that running for your life from pretty much everything at the drop of a hat qualifies as excitement. I once heard that an adventure is a terrifying experience that you survive. It does give you a rush. Duelists sometimes suffered from this same mania, continually challenging one another until they were almost all dead, which is probably why we don’t see much of this today. There is only one left, the winner, and he has nobody left to play with. How sad.Anyway, our urban friends conserve their energy for emergencies by hitching rides on public conveyances: garbage trucks, moving vans, buses, the subway and your friend with the car who is helping you move. However, it is not all bad news. The dining choices are some of the finest. The old, interconnected city structures provide unparalleled access to gourmet kitchens. You have to be quick, though, timing it to when the chef’s back is turned. It is best to avoid being viewed directly, which will set off a hue and cry resulting in everyone sprinting all over the place and jumping up on furniture. City mice avoid direct eye contact. They operate in what we like to call the corner of the eye. This is also where ghosts, Bigfoot and the Jersey Devil operate. To be seen out of the corner of someone’s eye leaves just enough doubt to discourage a really determined pursuit. Mice are better at this. You don’t see teams of mouse hunters running around with special equipment like K-2 meters.That about covers it. The only other hazard I can think of that I haven’t covered is bankruptcy, but this can happen in either case so there is not much point in worrying about it.Bill Abrams resides, just like that somewhat sluggish country mouse, in Pine Plains.