Getting it done in the United States of America

‘What this country needs is a good 5-cent cigar.” The immortal words of the otherwise forgettable Thomas Marshall, Woodrow Wilson’s vice president, are a reminder that America has a long tradition of creating and fulfilling perceived needs, albeit many of dubious necessity. 

Contrary to the perception that we can’t get anything done in this country, the issue seems to be misplaced priorities, not inaction. With a guiding philosophy of, “if you can’t control what is important, make important what you can control,” we are constantly identifying and solving “problems.”

A case in point: a men’s shirt that looks good untucked. Thankfully, this national disgrace has been solved by UNTUCKit. And without the humiliation of sit-ups. But wait, there’s more. Domino’s Pizza Carryout Insurance. A lot can happen to a pizza on the way home and Domino’s has you covered, sort of. There is some policy fine print and qualifications. After all, this is an insurance product.

Post-it® Extreme Notes - “when conditions make communications tough” – are sure to be welcomed by landscapers and marriage counselors alike.

Although the erstwhile gold standard of unnecessary necessities, The Clapper, has been usurped by the omnipresent seductress, Alexa, America remains vigilant in tackling inconvenient obstacles to our collective happiness.

These solutions in search of a problem make Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs look like just another pyramid scheme. It turns out that self-actualization is not that tough a slog. 

So don’t sit there like a Pet Rock, untuck your shirt and get to work. There’s a problem out there waiting to be created.


M.A. Duca is a resident of Twin Lakes narrowly focused on everyday life.