A rare life remembered: Geizha Ahles responded to pain with compassion

HARTLAND — Geizha Ahles lived a very special life for 35 years. A beauty queen, volunteer and tireless advocate for victims of multiple sclerosis (MS), her own battle with the disease, along with an extremely rare form of cancer, ended Sunday, Sept. 12, when she died in the arms of her husband, Mark.

She had been the sole remaining survivor of the rare cancer that took her life, and was championed this week by her life partner and best friend for her courage and loving spirit.

“We were really lucky,� Mark said Tuesday afternoon at home in Hartland. “Not many people get to find their one true love, that one special person. We were partners in crime and did absolutely everything together. We were best friends. I can’t believe we went through 14 years with no fighting, never raising our voices, just loving each other each and every day.�

Geizha was afflicted with a type of squamous cell adenocarcinoma that only 21 other people have ever had. Despite the debilitating condition, she  lived an amazing, unforgettable life.

A love story

Mark and Geizha Ahles met when she was 20 and Mark was 28 years old. Mark said he remembered thinking, “What do I have in common with a 20-year-old?�

His question was answered right after their first date when they picked out the date they were going to get married.

“It was truly that simple for us — a once-in-a-lifetime love,� he said. “We always had the most easy, fun, loving and trusting relationship. We even felt guilty sometimes when we were faced with seeing some of our good friends’ relationships end.�

Mark said they were perfect together from the beginning. Neither of them wanted to have children, content to treat their three beloved dogs as their family.

“She’d go stir crazy without them around, especially in these last two years when she was home all day. They kept her company,� Mark said.

Known throughout Litchfield County and Connecticut for her beauty and intelligence, Geizha would become Mrs. Hartland and compete in the 2006 Mrs. Connecticut Pageant. She also served on Winsted’s Laurel City Commission, as a mentor for young women involved in the annual Laurel Festival.

Battling MS

Geizha’s first sign of health troubles appeared in 2002.

“She just knew something wasn’t right,� Mark said. “She always had that intuition, she just knew, and would push and push doctors to see her. She’d go right in there and say, ‘I know something isn’t right and you need to see me whether you like it or not.’ And she always unfortunately ended up being right.�

After great perseverance, Dr. Joseph Guarnaccia at the MS Treatment Center at Griffin Hospital in Derby, Conn., finally agreed to see Geizha, despite a lack of evidence for her suspected condition. He was able to symptomatically diagnose her with MS.

With treatment, Geizha was able to keep the MS at bay with the exception of a few six-week periods that confined her to a wheelchair.

She went on living with MS in its various stages for a few years, but Mark said he remembers one morning when she woke up and got out of bed and the whole left side of her body was paralyzed. She fell right to the floor.

“After that she really got motivated and involved with MS charity work,� Mark said, noting that Geizha’s only motivation seemed to be to make others feel better in any way she could.

Geizha went on to work with the MS Foundation and participated in many walks and fundraisers while she was ill. She made her own team, eventually became team captain, organized entire walks and was honored as one of their top fundraisers nationwide.

 â€œShe never let anything slow her down,â€� Mark said. “The first year we did the walk in the pouring rain, while she was very sick, but she walked the whole 5 miles, and the next year she walked the whole 5-mile walk again all on her own, and then our third and final year of the walk in Litchfield, I pushed her in her wheelchair for the full 5 miles.â€�

In 2008, six years after her diagnosis,Geizha became the spokesperson for the Connecticut MS Chapter’s Motorcycle Ride, using  past modeling and pageant experience to promote the cause.

Cancer diagnosed

Geizha’s first cancer diagnosis came in June 2008. She was first diagnosed with vaginal cancer, but the diagnosis changed to a rarer type of squamous cell adenocarcinoma. She was only the 21st person known to have been diagnosed with this cancer. Radiation and chemotherapy treatments began.

In late 2008, Geizha went through more radiation than her doctors had ever given to one person. She received radiation every day, and chemo once a week for months.

Mark said the worst part was when she had to spend three days with a radioactive cylinder implant inside her while she stayed in an isolated room because of the incredibly high levels of radiation.

“She was completely isolated from all visitors, even I had to stay 50 feet away from her during these three days,� he said. “She suffered third-degree burns from that procedure, but never complained.�

The intense radiation treatment seemed to work, breaking up the tumors, and in 2009 she appeared to be cancer-free.

“I’ll never forget that day,� Mark said. “As soon as she found out she was cancer-free she came flying into my shop at Center Subaru in Torrington with a huge bottle of champagne and let the cork sail and shouted, ‘They got rid of it!’ and celebrated in true Geizha fashion.�

But the cancer returned. Doctors tried to give Geizha a break from chemo treatments because her body had already gone through so much, but some were necessary to keep the disease under control.

“During this time we were really trying to go out and do fun things together and enjoy our time, so we planned a trip to Italy in fall of 2009,� Mark said. “But in the summer of 2009, doctors discovered lesions on Geizha’s lungs.

“They told us they were treatable and started the chemo again. They knew we were scheduled to go to Italy soon, so they worked out the chemo treatments so she would be good to go for Italy, but just before we left, some of the residual long-term effects of the radiation started to rear their ugly head and her kidneys stopped functioning.�

But Geizha, true to form, didn’t let that ruin their trip.

“I was a nervous wreck the whole trip, but we had a great time, even though I could not stop worrying about her, and she wouldn’t stop worrying about me,� he said. “But we still had an unforgettable time together.�

Then Geizha and Mark decided things were stable enough to go to Montreal in June 2010.

“She really got into Formula 1 racing, just another example of her wanting to learn anything she could,� Mark said. “She got so into it she started getting their magazine and writing on their website and got her own Formula 1 Racing website forum.�

Difficult decisions

Late this summer, doctors gave Geizha and Mark the news they both knew was coming but never wanted to hear.

“The doctors told us that the chemo had stopped doing anything and left us with two options — keep blasting her with chemo anyways and hope for the best or stop everything and let her enjoy what time she had left and keep her as comfortable as possible. Of course it was a mutual choice to enjoy the time we had together and be as happy as we could.

“Geizha wasn’t afraid of her fate,� Mark said. “She lived a better life in 35 years than most people live in 100.�

Mark said collecting wine was one of Geizha’s many hobbies, and it was a hobby that she was able to still enjoy in the last months of her life.

He told of a trip to a wine tasting in Goshen late this summer.

“I pushed her around in the wheelchair. We really enjoyed the whole day together, it was an awesome day. We got home that night and watched the race that she had taped and went to bed, it was a great Sunday for us.

“That night at 2 a.m. she woke me up saying she was in a lot of pain and needed to go to the hospital. She literally turned to me and said she was scared, which was something I have never heard her say before through all of this.�

Mark called the ambulance and many friends and neighbors came over to help. At the hospital, the doctors performed a bone density scan on Geizha, thinking she might have cracked ribs.

“They realized that she was in such a weakened state that when she would cough she would break her ribs,� Mark said.

At that point Geizha made the decision to receive hospice care at home.

“One thing Geizha was very fixated on was not going back into the hospital and staying at home,� Mark said. “We were able to spend her last week at home together talking constantly and never being away from each other for more than one moment.�

Painful moments

On the Friday before Geizha died, her hospice nurse came over to do her usual care and admitted to Geizha that she could not do anything more to make her any more comfortable and the end was near. The nurse urged  her to sign back into the hospital. Geizha really didn’t want to go, but they decided together it was best.

At the hospital, Mark was able to say goodbye to Geizha before the doctors gave her a heavy dose medication to ease her pain.

“After I said my goodbyes to her and the doctors put her into as comfortable a sleeping state as they could, for the next 12 hours I held her head on my chest and literally counted each and every breath she took,� he said. “I never stopped talking to her that night. When the sun rose through our window in her sixth-floor hospital room, it was the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen, and I just knew that was the day, she was ready.�

Geizha died that Sunday morning in the loving arms of her husband.

Calling hours for Geizha will be held on Saturday, Sept. 18, at Montano-Shea Funeral Home from 4 to 6 p.m. In lieu of flowers, donations in her name have been requested to the UConn Cancer Center or the MS Foundation.

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